- To receive extra love, cuddles, reassurance and attention.
- To feel safe. They need to know who is going to look after them. They need to stick to established routines and still have firm boundaries.
- To feel involved. Do not shut them out thinking this is helping them.
- To be allowed to talk and be listened to.It can help them to listen to others expressing their feelings, to see adults crying. This can help them to understand their and express their own feelings.
- To know that it is normal to feel pain, anger, guilt relief.
- To know that it is also ok to laugh and to talk about the happy times.
- To remember the person who has died for the rest of their lives. Keep the memory alive by talking about the special days and planning what to do together.
It is important that the children’s schools are fully informed. Involve the children in this so that their wishes are recognised.
Children can benefit enormously from meeting other bereaved children, for instance at Chums workshops.